A Little Death
by errantimpulses
Summary: Kon feels guilty about what's happened to Bart


"Kon. Forget something?"

Kon glanced down as he shuffled his feet. He looked up to meet Max's eyes, then quickly looked away again. "Yeah. Well, uh, maybe. ...I think..." He looked back to see Max still staring at him. "Is Bart still awake?" Was it his imagination, or had Max's mouth tightened? Was Max just worried? Or did he know it was Kon's fault?

Max stared a little longer before stepping aside. "His other friends are in there now. They will be leaving shortly. He does not need anymore stress."

Was that a hint? Kon nervously ran a hand through his hair. "I understand. I'm just gonna be a second." Kon remembered his cover story. "Just have to take a quick look. Uh. Ask Bart if he's seen it."

"Right." Kon followed Max through the small house until they reached Bart's room. The voices of several teenagers reached Kon's ears even before Max opened the door. Kon rarely remembered that, as lives go, Bart's was probably the most normal out of all of them. Well, at least his social life. He actually had friends that were unaware of the whole super-hero thing. Kon's friends all knew who he was - who he really was. Robin...probably had no friends. Or had just enough so that it wasn't suspicious. Bart had actual friends, who did normal things, and treated him like a normal person. And didn't get him killed.

Max opened the door for Kon, and he stepped through. Nearly a dozen teenagers were crowded around Bart's bed talking excitedly.

"-wouldn't be-LIEVE what Rolly did-"

"-stay right there, yeah. Carol, move a little closer so I can get you into the frame-"

"-SOOO unfair Sheridan's making you do all the work still-"

Bart was smiling, but seemed even more peaked and pale than earlier in the day, when the rest of Young Justice had come by. The energy in the room was so overwhelming, all of them clamoring for Bart's attention, Kon couldn't take it. Bart had been in a coma! He'd almost died! Didn't they realize that? Kon realized that, no, maybe they didn't. He wasn't sure what Max had told them to explain Bart's absence from school. For all he knew, they might think Bart just had the flu or something. Bart was obviously tired, though, and they seemed to not notice, or, if they noticed, they didn't care. Max, did, apparently.

"All of you. Out." The kids groaned at Max's words, but didn't argue. "You," Max said, fixing Kon with his eyes. "Five minutes." With that, he turned and walked out of the room, with Bart's friends following him after they'd made their good-byes.

"Hey Kon," Bart said with a small smile. "Weren't you just here this morning? Or am I imagining things?"

"Um." Why was he here? He'd just been here. Why was he back? "I, uh...think I forgot my sunglasses here..."

Bart blinked at him. "The ones on your head, or a different pair?"

Crap. "Oooh, there's those darn things. I guess I'll be going now." Goddammit. He came all this way, and didn't know why, and now he looked like an idiot, and could Bart please just stop smiling at him like that? Like he and Kon are still friends and everything's going to be all right? And he was doing it so calmly, too! That was what was driving Kon so nuts! Bart's movements were slow and calm, instead of blurred and wild. Instead of his eyes flashing with life and excitement, there was an eerie reflection in them - a glassy, almost dead quality that Kon found disturbing. It was creepy. It was creepy and it was unnatural for Bart to be this way, slow and sad and..and injured. That's not how it was supposed to be. Kon was supposed to be the one getting hurt - that's what he was built for! Not Bart, not any of his friends, but least of all Bart. It was supposed to be him!

"I'm sorry!"

"Huh?"

Kon couldn't look at Bart when he repeated himself, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He looked back to see Bart staring at him with a look of confusion. "I got you hurt - it was my fault... It should have been me...no, it shouldn't have been any of us. I was stupid, and pigheaded, and I almost got you killed. And saying sorry isn't nearly enough, I know, but...I don't know what else to say..."

Bart stared at him, considering. Again, not a look Bart should have. He walked over to the bed, sitting next to Bart. He stared down at Bart, who looked surprised. "I thought you'd died. I thought it was you and I just felt this...this *thing*, like, explode in my chest. And then...when I found out it wasn't, I could breathe...but then we couldn't wake you up. We couldn't...I thought you *were* going to die...I was afraid you would never wake up and I'd never see you smile again and I just..." Kon bit his lip and pulled Bart into a hug. "Don't you ever do that again, ok? If I'm telling you to do something stupid, you don't do it, you idiot! I thought I'd be able to take care of you, but I can't even take care of myself, so just..."

He felt Bart's hands moved delicately on his back as he returned the hug. He'd never really realized how small Bart was. Kon knew he was short, and teased him for being scrawny, but he never realized how small and fragile Bart really was until recently. It was all this calmness. Bart seemed to make himself bigger than he was by exuding energy, and now that it was gone...

"...can I tell you something?" Bart's breath was light against Kon's neck. Kon gave a start at the noise.

"Anything," he murmured into Bart's hair.

"I thought no one would care. You know. If I had died." Kon opened his mouth to protest, but decided not to stop Bart as he continued. "I mean, I get shuffled off by my grandma to someone I don't know, and then he chucks me over to someone who I'm not even related to, and then my own grandfather holds a gun to my head and... I just... I feel like ...maybe. If I'd died, I'd be the only one upset by it..."

Kon still had his arms around Bart, and wasn't planning to move them any time soon. "My turn to tell you something," he said. Bart's breathing was getting slow and rhythmic, but he made a little noise at Kon's voice. "I don't care how you think anyone else feels about you. But if you die? I don't know what I would do. I think I'd die, too. So I care. I care a lot. I l...like having you around. Don't you dare go anywhere. 'kay?"

Bart nodded, and sniffled. Kon just tightened his grip, wishing he'd never have to let go.


End file.
